i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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