walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
