How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
We got so high we made milksteak
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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