I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
