One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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