I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
