My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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