What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
