last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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