My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
