Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
