I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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