Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
