I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
