I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
