You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize