I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
