btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
