I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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