You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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