you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
