This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
