your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
