he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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