Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
