I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
