you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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