ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
