That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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