Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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