i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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