I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
me + whiskey = a bad person
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Enjoy the penises
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
