what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
