He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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