Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
