Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
