I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
