Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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