just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
