GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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