Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
