i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
