nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
