She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think I won the penis lottery.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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