And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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