How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
