Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
