He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
