I heard we made out
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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