if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
