we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She bit a glass in half.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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