i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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