dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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