to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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