i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
